There are a lot of days that I feel like a bad mom lately. We really don't do much, and there is a very good reason. Whenever we go somewhere "fun" Like the park, the playland at McDonalds house. When it is time to leave my oldest daughter has the mother of all meltdowns! It is embaressing and ridiculous and I have no idea what to do about it. I have tried talking to her about it before we go in. I even give her a warning 5 minutes before we leave and she still flips out. And because of this it makes me not want to do these things. I feel bad a lot, like we are not doing enough, but then I remember the last time when I had to drag her out McDonalds kicking and screaming and everyone was staring at me.
I am open to suggestions!!
I know when you look at this picture, how could that sweet girl do something like that, but believe me, it isn't pretty!
BTW, this is Reagan's costume for her dance recital that is on Friday night, should be hilarious!!
2 comments:
Pray and breathe!
I don't know whatw the answer is...There is a Christian book about parenting "strong willed children." I would try and google it. Sorry I don't know the title or author, but I will probably have to get a copy myself for my son. I had to start the time out thing today for the first time.
Maybe ask someone at the church to recommend some books for you.
First question: where does she take dance? I'm looking for a place that doesn't do the scanky outfits (especially as they get older) and all of the 6 year olds flirting with the audience (Jon Bonet Ramsey) garbage. But I'm too chicken to call and ask, "Will you prostitute out my daughter for cuteness or are you more conservative???"
Second, the book Tracey is talking about is "The Strong Willed Child" by James Dobson. Have it. Love it.
Okay, now that that's out of the way, I think you should level with your daughter. She's small, but getting old enough to understand cause and effect. Explain to her (after the meltdown is over, maybe in the car when things have settled down or back at home...whenever she's able to listen) that you would be more willing to take her fun places more often if she had a happy heart when it was time to leave. I'm sure her meltdowns began from immaturity and wanting her way, but will transition (if they haven't already) into, "NOOOO! We never go anywhere!!! I don't want it to end!"
Maybe also try the talk-up on the way TO the park, playplace, etc. Let her know the "rules" - one of them being no tantrums when it's time to leave. Maybe even sit in the car for a minute before going in and get her to agree that she'll leave quietly when it's time to go.
A friend gave me this advice when Ryan was first born and I thought he was nuts, but it works. That coupled with the 5 minute countdown and even the 1 minute warning. Then call her over (or go to her if she refuses) and get down on her level and remind her, "We'll come back here again sometime soon if you leave with a happy heart. I want you to be grateful that Mommy takes you fun places and I really hope to bring you back here again soon. Are you ready to leave quietly?"
Sorry for the novel...hope this helps. Consistency is key and don't feel like a bad mom! Kids are natural manipulators. It's up to you to make sure you set the boundaries and stick to them.
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